In August I was in bed trying to sleep and I could not because of the pain in my chest. Since being diagnosed in June/July I had never raised question to why I had to go through this. I accepted the cancer and knew that everything was going to be ok, but I felt so alone. I felt so isolated from everything. I felt overwhelmed and the question "why?" was now all that I could ask God. Why am I in pain? Why can't I sleep? Why do I have no energy? Why am I sick? etc. It was at this time that I finally pleaded with God wanting to know why me. I am a good person, I do what I am supposed to do, I don't deserve this.
Sometimes we must be sufficiently humbled before receiving personal glorious messages of truth. I learned something about how the Lord works with us: the Lord must take the precious ore that we are and refine us in order to make a beautiful gem of God. If you know anything about how ore is refined to become what they have the potential to become then you can see how we can compare.
I have come to a better understanding of the Atonement of Jesus Christ and His suffering in the Garden of Gethsemane because I have taken time to personally study it out in the scriptures and the words of modern prophets and apostles. By doing this I familiarized myself with the life of Jesus Christ and opened the gate for truth to be confirmed to me by the Holy Ghost.
I know that God loves His children and He is the same yesterday, today, and forever. He speaks to His children, He helps/delivers them from bondage. He eases burdens that they may seem light. In times of need He will rescue and reach out with His arm of mercy.
The Atonement of Jesus Christ is not simply for those who stand in need of repentance but to all in every and any situation they are in. When we learn to rely on Him and His atoning sacrifice we come to the realization that Jesus is "The Christ", Jesus is the anointed one that met the requirements for the sacrifice and price that we may be free and enabled to continue in our personal progression in this life and in eternity. He truly is a Savior and Redeemer.
We learn from the scriptures about the life of Christ the Anointed One. We learn of His at-one-ment with God the Father and the children of God. We are children of God becoming familiar with Him you place yourself on a revelatory path if you apply the principles found in the doctrines of the Saviors example. By abiding in Him you will be shown and be permitted to see what He sees in you and all the children of Him. As you open your heart and mind, He will open your eyes.
I testify that Jesus is the Anointed One, Jesus is the Christ, Jesus is our Savior and Redeemer. The Atonement is real and when righteous desires are exercised through faith in Jesus Christ we become more like Him.
Here is what I have learned about what happened in the Garden of Gethsemane as Jesus Christ prayed for us through the scriptures and testimonies of modern prophets and apostles:
Matthew 26: 36-46
36 ¶Then cometh Jesus
with them unto a place called Gethsemane, and saith unto the disciples, Sit ye
here, while I go and pray yonder.
37 And he took with him
Peter and the two sons of Zebedee, and began to be sorrowful and very heavy.
38 Then saith he unto
them, My soul is exceeding sorrowful, even unto death: tarry ye here, and watch
with me.
39 And he went a little
further, and fell on his face, and prayed, saying, O my Father, if it be
possible, let this cup pass from me: nevertheless not as I will, but as thou
wilt.
40 And he cometh unto
the disciples, and findeth them asleep, and saith unto Peter, What, could ye
not watch with me one hour?
41 Watch and pray, that
ye enter not into temptation: the spirit indeed is willing, but the flesh is
weak.
42 He went away again
the second time, and prayed, saying, O my Father, if this cup may not pass away
from me, except I drink it, thy will be done.
43 And he came and
found them asleep again: for their eyes were heavy.
44 And he left them,
and went away again, and prayed the third time, saying the same words.
45 Then cometh he to
his disciples, and saith unto them, Sleep on now, and take your rest: behold,
the hour is at hand, and the Son of man is betrayed into the hands of sinners.
46 Rise, let us be
going: behold, he is at hand that doth betray me
Why Gethsemane? Why not up on a mountain? Think about the symbolism of Gethsemane as the oil press.
"Jesus came to the base
of the Mount of Olives to effect the first component of the Atonement. This He
did at the Garden of Gethsemane. The word Gethsemane comes from two Hebrew
roots: gath, meaning “press,” and shemen, meaning “oil,” especially that of the
olive.
There olives had been
pressed under the weight of great stone wheels to squeeze precious oil from the
olives. So the Christ in the Garden of Gethsemane was literally pressed under
the weight of the sins of the world. He sweated great drops of blood—his life’s
“oil”—which issued from every pore. (See Luke 22:44; D&C 19:18.)
Jesus was accorded
titles of unique significance. One was the Messiah, which in Hebrew means
“anointed.” The other was the Christ, which in the Greek language means
“anointed” as well. In our day, as it was in His day, the ordinance of
administration to the sick includes anointing with the consecrated oil of the
olive. So the next time you witness consecrated oil being anointed on the head
of one to be blessed, and these sacred words are said, “I anoint you with this
consecrated oil,” remember what that original consecration cost. Remember what
it meant to all who had ever lived and who ever would yet live. Remember the
redemptive power of healing, soothing, and ministering to those in need.
Remember, just as the body of the olive, which was pressed for the oil that
gave light, so the Savior was pressed. From every pore oozed the lifeblood of
our Redeemer. Throughout the joyous days of your mission, when your cup of
gladness runs over, remember His cup of bitterness which made it possible. And
when sore trials come upon you, remember Gethsemane." Elder Russell M. Nelson
If Peter, James, and John were the only ones in Gethsemane with Christ...why was it Matthew, Mark, and Luke that write about the account? Gethsemane is a personal experience that comes to us by revelation.
Also notice that it is not His will to suffer, but it is His desire to do the Father's will.
Mark 14: 32-38
32 And they came to a
place which was named Gethsemane: and he saith to his disciples, Sit ye here,
while I shall pray.
33 And he taketh with
him Peter and James and John, and began to be sore amazed, and to be very heavy;
34 And saith unto them,
My soul is exceeding sorrowful unto death: tarry ye here, and watch.
35 And he went forward
a little, and fell on the ground, and prayed that, if it were possible, the
hour might pass from him.
36 And he said, Abba,
Father, all things are possible unto thee; take away this cup from me:
nevertheless not what I will, but what thou wilt.
37 And he cometh, and
findeth them sleeping, and saith unto Peter, Simon, sleepest thou? couldest not
thou watch one hour?
38 Watch ye and pray,
lest ye enter into temptation. The spirit truly is ready, but the flesh is
weak.
Think of the symbolism of a garden:
A place of growth
A place of life giving fruit
A place where weeds are to be overcome and removed
A place of where effort and toil is required to obtain with patience and endurance
In verse 35 why does He fall to the ground?
This was clearly a very real test. Christ had all the weakness of a mortal body and He was truly suffering physical, emotional, and spiritual anguish. His immortality was only serving to allow Him to suffer completely without the relief of death. His godliness did not prevent His suffering.
In verse 36 why "Abba"?
Abba is an intimate form of the word Father. Think of it like 'dad or daddy'. This was a very intimate moment between a son and his dad. Christ desires to be one with his dad, but hopes that there is another way. Once again not his will, but his desire to do the father's will.
Luke 22: 39-46
39 ¶And he came out, and
went, as he was wont, to the mount of Olives; and his disciples also followed
him.
40 And when he was at
the place, he said unto them, Pray that ye enter not into temptation.
41 And he was withdrawn
from them about a stone’s cast, and kneeled down, and prayed,
42 Saying, Father, if
thou be willing, remove this cup from me: nevertheless not my will, but thine,
be done.
43 And there appeared
an angel unto him from heaven, strengthening him.
44 And being in an
agony he prayed more earnestly: and his sweat was as it were great drops of
blood falling down to the ground.
45 And when he rose up
from prayer, and was come to his disciples, he found them sleeping for sorrow,
46 And said unto them,
Why sleep ye? rise and pray, lest ye enter into temptation.
Again not his will to suffer, but his desire to do the Father's.
Take a look at verse 43. Who was the angel? What if it were you? What would you say? How would you feel at this moment? Where were you at this moment? Do you think that we were allowed to witness this as children of God before we were born?
Elder Bruce R. McConkie indicated that the angel was Michael or Adam.
Why Michael? What could Michael have said or done to strengthen Christ? Would he have pointed out that there was no other way?
Isaiah 53: 4-5, 10
4 ¶Surely he hath borne
our griefs, and carried our sorrows: yet we did esteem him stricken, smitten of
God, and afflicted.
5 But he was wounded
for our transgressions, he was bruised for our iniquities: the chastisement of
our peace was upon him; and with his stripes we are healed.
10 ¶Yet it pleased the
Lord to bruise him; he hath put him to grief: when thou shalt make his soul an
offering for sin, he shall see his seed, he shall prolong his days, and the
pleasure of the Lord shall prosper in his hand.
Notice what did Christ see while offering His soul for sin in verse 10? "He shall see his seed."
Mosiah 15: 10-12
10 And now I say unto
you, who shall declare his generation? Behold, I say unto you, that when his
soul has been made an offering for sin he shall see his seed. And now what say
ye? And who shall be his seed?
11 Behold I say unto
you, that whosoever has heard the words of the prophets, yea, all the holy
prophets who have prophesied concerning the coming of the Lord—I say unto you,
that all those who have hearkened unto their words, and believed that the Lord
would redeem his people, and have looked forward to that day for a remission of
their sins, I say unto you, that these are his seed, or they are the heirs of
the kingdom of God.
12 For these are they
whose sins he has borne; these are they for whom he has died, to redeem them
from their transgressions. And now, are they not his seed?
Who are Christ's seed?
It is all who have believed in Him and His atoning sacrifice.
Did Michael show Christ his seed? If so, what might Christ have seen in our faces? Would we have given Him strength to endure and go through with the atoning sacrifice, knowing that there was no other way?
"The prophet Abinadi
further states that “when his soul has been made an offering for sin he shall
see his seed” (Mosiah 15:10). Abinadi then identifies the Savior’s seed as the
prophets and those who follow them. For many years I thought of the Savior’s
experience in the garden and on the cross as places where a large mass of sin
was heaped upon Him. Through the words of Alma, Abinadi, Isaiah, and other
prophets, however, my view has changed. Instead of an impersonal mass of sin,
there was a long line of people, as Jesus felt “our infirmities” (Heb. 4:15),
“[bore] our griefs, … carried our sorrows … [and] was bruised for our
iniquities” (Isa. 53:4–5).
The Atonement was an
intimate, personal experience in which Jesus came to know how to help each of
us.
The Pearl of Great
Price teaches that Moses was shown all the inhabitants of the earth, which were
“numberless as the sand upon the sea shore” (Moses 1:28). If Moses beheld every
soul, then it seems reasonable that the Creator of the universe has the power
to become intimately acquainted with each of us. He learned about your
weaknesses and mine. He experienced your pains and sufferings. He experienced
mine. I testify that He knows us. He understands the way in which we deal with
temptations. He knows our weaknesses. But more than that, more than just knowing
us, He knows how to help us if we come to Him in faith." Merrill J. Bateman
Alma 7: 11-13
11 And he shall go
forth, suffering pains and afflictions and temptations of every kind; and this
that the word might be fulfilled which saith he will take upon him the pains
and the sicknesses of his people.
12 And he will take
upon him death, that he may loose the bands of death which bind his people; and
he will take upon him their infirmities, that his bowels may be filled with
mercy, according to the flesh, that he may know according to the flesh how to
succor his people according to their infirmities.
13 Now the Spirit
knoweth all things; nevertheless the Son of God suffereth according to the
flesh that he might take upon him the sins of his people, that he might blot
out their transgressions according to the power of his deliverance; and now
behold, this is the testimony which is in me.
So in verse 13 could Christ have simply understood these things by the Spirit? Why did He choose to suffer according to the flesh? Did He feel physically what it was like to break a bone? Lose an eye? Lose a loved one in death? Have family separated by divorce? etc. How did He prevent these feelings from causing Him to become bitter?
He partook from "the bitter cup" without becoming bitter. How did He do that?
Also notice that Christ suffered not only for our sins, but for our pains and afflictions. Why? Did these require an atoning sacrifice?
The Atonement had to completely cover all the negative effects of the fall of Adam and Eve and that in order to be one with us, He had to experience for himself, according to the flesh, what it felt like to experience every and any weakness and frailty of mortality.
I believe that when the Savior was suffering in the Garden of Gethsemane and he was being strengthened by the angel. He saw us. We were there and He saw our faith in Him. He saw the gratitude and love that we had for Him and what He was doing for us. I see Him meeting with each of us collectively and individually and gaining strength through us as we gain strength through Him. He turns to us and says in reference to what He was doing, "Not for me, but for you." Then He turns to the Father and says what we read in the scriptures, "Not my will, but Thine be done."
I believe that when the Savior was suffering in the Garden of Gethsemane and he was being strengthened by the angel. He saw us. We were there and He saw our faith in Him. He saw the gratitude and love that we had for Him and what He was doing for us. I see Him meeting with each of us collectively and individually and gaining strength through us as we gain strength through Him. He turns to us and says in reference to what He was doing, "Not for me, but for you." Then He turns to the Father and says what we read in the scriptures, "Not my will, but Thine be done."
I don't always mean to get all religious and churchy on you guys that read my blog. But truth is truth and the truth is that I have struggled immensely through this fight with cancer. I have tried to make the most of it. This is how I have done it. This is why I continue to do it. I learned something from this fight with cancer.
Sometimes our brightest hope comes in our darkest hour.
