Who we are, What we do

What we do is just as vital as who we are.  Many times we are judged according to what we do or what we have done, but does that really make up who we are individually?  I don't believe so.  As an individual you should not change who you are but rather what you do.  Each person has been blessed and endowed with extra-ordinary individuality.  Within our individuality we hold strengths and weaknesses.  Our strengths are meant to be useful to ourselves and those around us.  Our weaknesses, likewise, are meant for personal growth and making other strengths useful.  We must learn to recognize and accept weakness then be willing and anxious to improve.

"Whatever you are by nature keep to it, never detest your line of talent.  Be what nature intended for you and you will succeed." ~ Sydney Smith

In the Book of Mormon there is a soldier who defines himself by his belief and moral standards; not by his actions:

11. And Moroni was a strong and mighty man; he was a man of a perfect understanding; yea, a man that did not delight in bloodshed; a man whose soul did joy in the liberty and the freedom of his country, and his brethren from bondage and slavery;
12. Yea, a man whose heart did swell with thanksgiving to his God, for the many privileges and blessings which He bestowed upon his people; a man who did labor exceedingly for the welfare and safety of his people.
13. Yea, and he was a man who was firm in the faith of Christ, and he had sworn with an oath to defend his people, his rights, and his country, and his religion, even to the loss of his blood.
14. Now the Nephites were taught to defend themselves against their enemies, even to the shedding of blood if it were necessary; yea, and they were also taught never to give an offense, yea and never to raise the sword except it were against an enemy, except it were to preserve their lives.
15. And this was their faith, that by so doing God would prosper them in the land, or in other words, if they were faithful in keeping the commandments of God that He would prosper them in the land; yea, warn them to flee, or to prepare for war, according to their danger;
16. And also, that God would make it known unto them whither they should go to defend themselves against their enemies, and by so doing, the Lord would deliver them; and this was the faith of Moroni, and his heart did glory in it; not in the shedding of blood but in doing good, in preserving his people, yea in keeping the commandments of God, yea, and resisting iniquity.
17. Yea, verily, verily I say unto you, if all men had been, and were, and ever would be, like unto Moroni, behold, the very powers of hell would have been shaken forever; yea, the devil would never have power over the hearts of the children of men.

Alma 48: 11-17

 

He does not delight in bloodshed by being blessed in strength and knowledge of military tactics so that he is able to protect his family and nation.  He was successful because of who he was and applying that to what he had to do.

Who we are affects what we do.  Remember that statement and remind yourself in the decisions you make that who you are will affect the decision you make.  Sound advice also given in the Book of Mormon was that in order to cleanse the outer vessel the inner vessel must be cleansed first.  Our actions are premeditated by our thoughts, if you know who you are then you will know what you should do, or what you can do.  You will find options and opportunities opening before you.

"What lies behind us and what lies ahead of us are small matters as to what lies within us."

~ Ralph Waldo Emerson

You must be yourself, you must be what God created you to be then you and others will be blessed with success.  The greatest thing that you can do in life is what God wants you to do.  The greatest thing that you can be and become is what God wants you to be and become.  In life if you want to become something then you typically emulate those who have already succeeded in that.  You take who you are and what you can do and apply it to what they have and what they have done.  Thus, an ongoing cycle of success and improvement.

"What we do in this life echoes into eternity." ~ Maximus from "Gladiator"

 

 

Trying to be something that you aren't is like being half stupid, and not being yourself, being something else completely, is just reaching your potential of being fully stupid.

"The merit of originality is not novelty, it is sincerity." ~ Thomas Carlyle

 

 

"To every man there comes in his lifetime that special moment when he is figuratively tapped on the shoulder and offered the chance to do a special thing unknown to him and fitted to his talent; what a tragedy if that moment finds him unprepared or unqualified for that work which would be his finest hour." ~ Sir Winston Churchhilll

 

Knowing who you are helps you be successful and increase your potential.  You wouldn't use a screwdriver to hammer in nails, nor would you use a hammer to dig holes.  Use the strengths you have properly and learn your weaknesses and work to make them strengths, or at the least make them not a hindrance to you.

Temperance

Doctrine and Covenants many times recites the passage that the field is white ready to harvest, and this scripture passage is speaking of missionary work.  Let's apply this to ourselves and our life.  How is our life similar to a field being white and ready to harvest?  Also in that passage it states that we must serve with all our heart, mind, and strength.  Many times when we hear that we are to do something that includes all of our heart, mind, and strength we often think of overdoing something.  Giving a 110% as we often say.  This is not the case.  We are to do all things in moderation, taking in consideration the conditions that are in play.  There is also another scripture found in the Book of Mormon that says that we are to do all things in wisdom and order, not running faster than we have the strength to run, so to speak.  Another story found in the Bible is of King Saul, who as a young man is anointed to become the king.  In meeting with Samuel he is taught and "given a new heart" or I would suppose a new view on life.  This meeting with a prophet in the old testament was a life changing or confirming experience that solidified Saul's determination to serve others.  The example of temperance comes at the very end of chapter 10 in 1 Samuel.  After Saul is anointed to be king he returns home, but some of the people did not accept him and despised him being anointed but it says that Saul held his peace.  How often are we persecuted in regards to our decisions or actions?  How can we be like the young Saul who held his peace and did not allow outside influences to affect his life? 

In the New Testament, Paul writes to the Corinthians that mastery is temperance in all things.  Temperate in the thesaurus lists these words as a help: self-restrained, restrained, moderate, self-controlled, disciplined, abstemious, self-denying, austere, ascetic, tee-total, and abstinent.  It also states that opposite to temperate is extreme.  An example of how temperance is used and exhibited is in sports.

How does self-control have a role in sports?  Most, if not all, sports require some form of discipline and self-control to master a skill.  Wrestling, for example, I would have to train myself to know my own limits so that I would not exceed them and have an understanding when to exert or suppress my energy and strength at the appropriate time.  Also I learned how to have the self-control to know when and where certain things were appropriate.  There was a phrase that we had on our wrestling team and that was to "leave it on the mat".  In other words, don't let the emotions and fight leave the mat with you.  When the fight is over then it is over.  There is a time and a place for everything and that was a lesson that we had to learn and accept.  When we were on the mat then the appropriate emotions can be used to try and gain advantage.  Likewise, when we left the mat the emotions that were appropriate during the fight may not be appropriate outside of mat and should not be brought out.

How does self control and discipline help us in every day life?  Once we know ourselves, our emotions, our limits, and how we should react, then we will have a better hold of ourselves and have a knowledge of what our capabilities are.  When we have that knowledge then we can exercise self control and self discipline in our life, knowledge leads to temperance and then we can enjoy patience.  Control of ourselves allows us to have true patience and as the New Testament says that knowledge brings temperance then patience and then godliness.  What does Peter mean by "godliness"?  I believe that he was saying that it brings an assurance of our life being in balance.  Have you ever been impressed by someone who seems to have everything going right for them, or perhaps they just seem to have no worries in life.  I think that is what Peter meant by godliness.  Now of course they will have their own worries and problems in life but they have the tools and capabilities to handle those issues effectively.  Like our Father in Heaven, He has His life in order I'm sure.  Does He have concerns and worries in His life?  Yes I'm sure that He is concerned about His children and their well being.  However when we think of God do we think of Him being weighed down with the worries and concerns in His life?  No, we know that He is happy and full of joy.  This is the godliness that we must strive for, being happy and full of joy even though there are worries and concerns in life.

"It is therefore of critical importance that we become self disciplined enough to make early and decisive corrections to get back on the right track and not wait or hope that errors will somehow correct themselves...It is the early recognition of danger that will help you keep in the light of the gospel [right track in life]."

Again remember that there is a time and a place for everything in our lives.  When we are at work then our focus should be on work and when we leave work then work should stay at work don't bring it home or where ever with you.  When you are at home then your focus should be in the home.  Do not take work home with you and don't take your home with you to work.  Time and place.  There are times when we must prioritize situations and some may take precedence over another at different times, but we must learn that there is a time and a place for everything.

My Kind of Blue

I wrote this while I was in Thailand.  It was one of those miserably hot, humid nights that leave you staring at the ceiling in the dark wondering what the hell am I doing literally on the other side of the world from where I'm from.

Right now it is 3:35 A.M. I am awake, and making Mama.  (Thai version of ramen noodles, except a lot better)



Right now it's 3:42 A.M. I finished making my Mama and I'm listening to Blue in Green by Miles Davis from Kind of Blue.

With miles behind me I hear faint cries,

Powerful and moving, yet it's empty.

Inside my emptiness I am full of thoughts.

An empty paper, a full pen, occasional sighs.

 

3:52 A.M.

 

 

With constant walking I go nowhere

yet it takes me away to places I've never gone.

I always start the same, but the same is never in the end.

It is always available for anyone, yet it is rare to find.

Not everyone gets it even though they have it.

 

4:07 A.M.

 

 

 

A great writer wrote that we always talk about the weather,

but we never seem to do anything about the weather.

In its own sense it is the harmony only that contradicts.

It is the pitter patter of the falling rain

soft and beautiful, bold and dissonant.

Can you hear it?

Can you feel it?

Close your eyes, now go for a ride on a night train.

Ah, the night train, now we are finally moving,

but we still haven't gone anywhere or done anything.

 

4:23 A.M

 

 

 

The passing lights from a speeding train

bright and clear only for a second, makes you wonder if it's real.

That is my Kind of Blue, a passing light during the night.

It's bright, beautiful, magnificent then gone as if it were never there.

Lost in a blue abyss, the same blue never the same hue, tint, or shade.

 

4:40 A.M.

 

 

 

One's life journey.  Their amazing find.  My Kind of Blue.

 

 

The day of the "jube" จุบ

This is a fond memory from my time in Thailand serving a two-year voluntary missionary service for the LDS church.  Now for those unfamiliar with the standards the church holds for missionaries, missionaries, of course, wear the white shirts and ties, clean cut, etc.  Missionaries also have to refrain from flirting or having intimate relationships with others.  Anyway, it's like any job where you can do what you want on your own time but when on the clock you abide by the policies, procedures, and standards set by your employer.  For missionaries, you're on the clock 24/7 for two years.  So enough about that here is what went down straight from a journal that I kept while in Thailand.

April 15, 2007 - The Day of the "Jube" จุบ

Well what a day today was.  Today was the final day of Songkran.  We also had church.  I didn't understand anything so I was drawing and doodling most of the time.  The lunch they served was flat out gross!  It wasn't anything too weird or strange, but man...it was nasty.  I had to throw it away (when no one was looking of course). 

Going back home from Ubon, now that was an interesting ride.  The driver of our tuk tuk must have really wanted to get us soaked.  He drove by every big group of busy streets that he could.  Then he drove by the whore house.  The karaoke bars lit up with Christmas lights drawing people in like bugs to those electric zappers.  They draw your attention with all the lights, then you notice the scantily clad girls (or lady-boys) sitting in a row out front by the door waiting to lead in any passerby.  Then they go in with a girl, and come out later probably spending the night surprised that what appeared to be a girl in the dimly lit light...was a dude.  Like a venus fly trap...nope, a venus/mars fly trap.  You get a little of both.

      =







Moving on!  So the driver pulls up to the Karaoke bar and a couple of guys with short shorts and midriffs come dancing up blowing their whistles and dancing around the tuk tuk.  I felt like I was in a cage observing sharks.  I couldn't speak the language and this was my first time in Songkran so I didn't know what to expect.  The driver turned off the engine and sat back folding his arms all smug thinking that he was doing us a favor showing us a good time.  Then the girls/lady-boys came.

At first they started the powder on the cheeks routine that everyone does in Songkran, I looked to Elder Coons, who was my trainer, and he said that it was ok just to take it.  Nothing else we really could do our tuk tuk was stopped and we were literally surrounded.  Then they actually started coming into the tuk tuk with us.  Elder Coons was trying to convince the driver that we had to go and also telling the girls to get out of the tuk tuk.  All the while, I'm being mobbed from all sides.  Hands were coming from every direction smearing, smudging and wiping the pasty powder on my face.  Two girls climbed in the tuk tuk and sat on my lap, I immediately started pushing them off of me while having my shirt collar pulled every which way by those around the tuk tuk.  Elder Coons shoved one girl out and kept insisting the driver go.  Then they started kissing my face.  I thought that this was nuts!  Elder Coons just told me to take it from the beginning so while he was doing his thing I just sat there being yanked around saying thank you over and over again in Thai, that was one of the only phrases I knew, and having girls and probably guys kissing me from all directions while two girls were dancing in my lap. 

Finally, Elder Coons got them out of our metal cage strapped to a motorcycle and the tuk tuk started moving.  I was still having people tug on my collar by I was slapping hands away as if I were being attacked by bees.  That  was an interesting ride for sure.  We both sat back, I was a mess.  My face was all pasty white from the powder attack and my collar and tie were all crooked.  I was in a dress shirt and tie and completely soaked.  Elder Coons pulled a condom package out of his shirt pocket and tossed it out of the tuk tuk.  Apparently while they were dancing around they were tossing condom packets around too.  At least some of the girls were cute, even Elder Coons admitted to that.  He looked at me and said that there wasn't anything that we could've done and to consider myself a lucky missionary.  I asked if any kissed him and he said no, he was watching them all kiss me!  Crazy...and kind of creepy.

Later on in the day we were still soaked out on our bikes and some guys (very drunk) ran up and stopped our bikes.  Literally grabbed our handlebars and stopped our bikes.  They dumped water on us and tried convincing and leading us to go drink with them.  A thai midget (or little person whatever you want to call them) ran up and rubbed Elder Coon's belly.  Didn't understand that.  As Elder Coons broke free and started peddling off a guy leaned in and tried to kiss me, but I definitely wouldn't have any of that!  So I knocked him right square in the middle of his chest sending him stumbling back banging up against a truck.  As he buckled to the ground I took off.  Girls kissing me, I can handle that.  But a dude...sorry, I can't have any of that.  After today Songkran is over and wow it has been crazy!  What an incredible experience.  I have been in this country for a few weeks now and this is what it already has in store for me.  These people are so mellow and nice usually but come Songkran they just go flat out insane!  I don't know, I guess its like Mardi Gras back home but also include a week long water fight to the party.

An Old Man's Story

I worked at a Japanese restaurant where I was a server.  I had some regulars that came in.  One particular gentleman I had the privilege of hearing his story.  I want to make sure that I put his story in a place where I can keep the legacy of his life that he gave to me alive.  I didn't receive a huge epic story but this is what I have from talking to him for half an hour.  He is now in his 80's, retired, and a widower.

He told me about his time being in the military.  He joined back when he turned 18 like most of the young men did during that time.  They were eager to join the cause of defending their country.  He joined the army in particular and after a few months in the army he was given the opportunity to take $ 10,000 to join a special training program in the military.  Of course he did what young man wouldn’t pass on a lump sum of money like that.  He then entered the training and learned to interrogate and retrieve information from captives.  After his training was complete he was sent to Korea.  The soldiers that he was going to be joining in Korea was a marine division and apparently marines do not get along with army boys too well.  So he was issued a marine uniform and sent to interrogate those captured by the marines and get all the information from them that was needed.  He mentioned that they usually only had 24 hours to interrogate before handing the captives over to the Southern Koreans.  Who would not use interrogation techniques that are quite as gentle as the Americans.  Like shoving bamboo slivers under your finger nails.  After two years with the military he decided that enough was enough.  He had seen all that he needed to see and wanted to start a family and move on in his life.  He said how he saw all these army people who tried having families and constantly moving or being away didn't really seem like much of a marriage, especially with some of the good ol' American boys having a family back home and a family in Korea.

He left the military when his time was up.  He was asked how his experience was and he said that it was a "good and rich experience" and when asked if he wanted to continue serving in the military he declined saying that he was going to move on and have an even more rich and better experiences than the army could offer.  He got into a university and worked towards his doctorate.  While in school he met his wife on a blind date.  Love at first sight as he put it.  They fell in love and were married.  A little extra note, she got pregnant on their wedding night.  He made sure I knew that, and that threw a little twist in their life having a child so quick.  He worked hard in schooling and did eventually get his doctorate.  He was a counselor in schools.  After he achieved his doctorate though, he taught on the university level in Chicago.  After settling down in his new career teaching at the university he had established a family and felt successful in life.

Mormons.  Those Mormons always get you somehow, someway.  He had his door knocked one day by a pair of young men in white shirt and ties.  They weren't selling vacuums, or insurance.  They were knocking doors "saving souls" teaching from a little book that was difficult to read.  They said that it was about Jesus Christ visiting the ancient American civilizations after his death, and apparently that story would have some interest in our lives today.  They just had to knock on this man's door.  Of all the homes in his neighborhood, out of all the times they could have knocked and he would not be there, they had to come.  He let them in and he thought to himself what can two young men wandering the streets without parental supervision possibly have to teach a doctor teaching in a university.  He listened to their memorized first discussion about their religious beliefs.  It sounded nice and all but not anything too special.  They left him a blue Book of Mormon.  He read the first seven chapters and quit.

Two weeks later the Mormons came back and gave another memorized discussion/presentation and asked how his reading had been with the little blue book.  He told them that he quit reading because the book was boring to read.  It was boring because everything kept coming to pass and wouldn't just pass.  The missionaries laughed at that comment and told him that he was reading the book wrong.  How dare they!  How dare these two nomadic, nicely dressed young men tell a university professor with a doctorate that he was reading a book incorrectly!  That's just absurd and in his mind disrespectful!  Well needless to say, he began reading the book again with new vigor to have this book studied so that he could show these know-it-all ruffians a thing or two about their book coming to pass.  As he read, the truthfulness of the book sunk into his heart.  It came to pass that he began to understand the message these two young men were trying to convey.  His interrogating mind and heart was opened and filled with understanding and love and he wasn’t sure why, it made him uncomfortably comfortable and at peace.  He was reading this book to argue different points with these two young men and show them the fault in their teaching, but instead he felt calm and serene.  He was touched as he read about Jesus, the savior of the world, healing the people that He visited on the American continent after His death.  Chapter 17 in 3rd Nephi touched his soul as he read of how Jesus took the people and children one by one healing their infirmities, afflictions, and pain.  How Jesus took the time to bless each individual person so lovingly one by one.  This touched his heart because he had an infirmity, he had afflictions, and he had experienced pain in his life.  If Jesus could come to America after he died and risen again to bless those people then Jesus could heal him too.  That was the message.  He knew what these Mormon boys were trying to teach.  Not about a church, not about a blue book about some guy named Mormon, but about Jesus reaching out to all people and healing that can be had in our life today through Him.  The missionaries came back a while later and checked up on the man.  They went through the lessons with him and asked if he wanted to be baptized.  He wasn't sure.  He knew the lessons in the Book of Mormon and knew of it's truthfulness.  His wife, who was a Lutheran/Baptist, had a Catholic priest come and visit the family to talk to him about these Mormons.  After talking about his experience with these Mormons, the priest simply replied "Well if you know it's true then you don't have much of a choice do you?"  It was true.  He was baptized into The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints.  It took those young Mormon boys two years waiting for him to make the decision to be baptized into the church, and a few years after that for his wife and children to join.  He told me of how blessed he has been in his life and that someone must be looking out for him because of how he came across those Mormon boys and where he has ended up in life.

A couple of years ago, his dear wife had passed away.  As this man talked about his wife his eyes would water and swell.  During his story, I thought that he just really loved his wife, which he does.  But now I knew why the tears.  He gently tapped his heart and a few tears rolled down his old wrinkled face.  "Hurts."  It was all that he said as he looked me in the eyes it was all he needed to say.  I understood and I have to admit that I could feel my eyes water as well.  I had listened so intently to this man's story and I had been so touched that I felt as if I were in his shoes.  I felt as though I were him and I could feel a portion of the longing that he had for his sweet wife.  He really loved his wife who he had met and fell in love with on a first date.  The wonderful woman who got pregnant on their wedding night and never let him live that one down.  The woman who tried to keep him from those crazy Mormon boys.  The woman who learned what he had learned and joined the church, and they were sealed together with each other and with their children for time and all eternity in the temple.  They were married for 51 years.  They are still married, not together now but they will be when he joins her.  This man truly, truly loves his wife and he misses her dearly.  One of the things that carry him through the day is his sarcastic sense of humor, which he used on me constantly.

You know, you see love all the time.  This man really loved his wife and you can easily see and feel the love he has towards her when you talk to him.  It is touching and amazing.  You feel a rush through your whole frame when he talks of her.  You have a reverence about you when you see him miss her touch, her smile, her voice, her love.

I hope that this story can be a constant reminder to me to remember how blessed I am.  To hold dear to what really matters in life.  I hope that this story can touch your heart as it has mine.  I am lucky to have met this man and hear his story.  It won't be much longer that he will meet his wife on the other side and spend the rest of his time honoring her.  

Wet and wild fun in T-town

Don't get too overly excited because I entitled this "wet and wild".  This happened years ago, but old stories never get old.  Right?

Occasionally, in our lives, we do things that are, well, let's just say half-retarded.  This particular stunt fits that category.  So this happened back when I lived in Kansas working at Kohl's Department Store.  While I was working I received a call from a friend of mine, Greg.  He told me that we were going to hang out after I got off work, and that they've been doing something crazy and fun.  I continued working without putting much thought into what the night would hold in store.  Our idea of fun was usually doing the same thing, blowing something up...mail boxes.  Not really we wouldn't do that, that's illegal...maybe a few times.  Anyway!  Not important...but entertaining nonetheless.  After work I called him up.  He swung by my house and picked me up in his piece of junk Oldsmobile Achieva that we named "high flyin' blue."  I don't know why he always bought  Oldsmobile Achievas (he had two) because they were junk.

We headed out and I was sitting shotgun.  Some kid was sitting in the back that I didn't know.  From the back, the kid handed up a large super soaker water gun.  Greg just looked at me with a mischievous grin. 
"Alright...so what am I going to do with this?"
Greg answered, "Shoot cars!"
Yeah.  This is our idea of fun.  Kansas boys cruising around town giving free car washes. 
"So did you pee in it or something?" There had to be a catch.
"Nope, just water," Greg still had that goofy grin on his face.

Whatever.  We took off.  We cruised around for a little bit and Greg showed me how the game worked, not that it was too hard to catch on to in the first place.  We would either squirt the neighboring cars passing by or shoot cars at stop lights.  Nothing too exciting; however, when there is nothing to do you find entertainment in silly things.  I wasn't too impressed with this game, so when we decided that it was m turn to shoot the deadly super soaker my attitude was go big or go home.

                    VS.

We drove around for a while and then pulled up next to a Dodge Dakota and as we slowly inched up to the side of the truck we could feel our bodies vibrate along with the booming of the guy's sub-woofers.  It was go time.  Greg rolled down his window and I reached over him.  I had previously pumped the heck out of that super soaker for full force pressurage.  I made that word up.  I hesitated a moment noticing that the man's windows were down, and the interior of his Dakota was lit up like a tanning bed glowing indigo blue from all the L.E.D. lights scattered through out his truck.  It was like peering into a spaceship.  Two little imaginary figures popped on my shoulder to debate over whether or not I should soak the inside of the man's truck.  Before my conscious could say anything, I released the water stored in my super soaker tank into the man's truck.  Time froze as Pressurized water exploded from High Flyin' Blue into the Dakota.  I roared a high pitched war cry, probably fooling the man that I was a teenaged girl catching a glimpse of Justin Beiber.  Cutting through the steady stream of water the man fired a counter stream of cursing.  His hands shot out defensively attempting to block the onslaught to no avail.  Greg picked his jaw up off the floor, and gunned the car running the red light heading towards the highway for the chase to begin.















The Dakota was flying right up behind us.  Unfortunately it didn't take him long to be right on our tail Greg's achieva was like an old man with a walker.  We slowly flew as fast as we could down the highway.  We all laid low afraid that the man would shoot at us.  You can never tell what these wanna-be-gangstas are going to do.  We peeled off the highway and rumbled down an empty road leading to the movie theatres.  The Dakota did as well.  A huge round-about was up ahead and we squealed around the round-about going, give-or-take a few, 60 miles an hour.  We went around and around, never exiting the round-about.  The Dakota came into the circle of death after us.  We played cat and mouse at 60 miles an hour for approximately 5-6 complete rounds, up until we were coming up behind the Dakota.  Luckily for us, we had a real piece of junk, so we didn't care about taking the turns at death defying speeds.  We obviously didn't put much thought in our safety either, but what high school kid does?  Coming up behind the Dakota, we flung high flyin' blue from the round-about and took off down the same road we came on towards the highway.  The Dakota was no longer in view behind us so we slowed down and came up to a red light.  We stopped and planned on going straight to make it for Gage Park.  Then the Dakota came booming like a fighter jet up behind us.

Greg looked back yelling, "OH $@#T!!!" (keep this G rated)
I ducked coving my head and pumped my super soaker like a mad man, the only form of defense I had.  I can only imagine what this must have looked like the driver looking frantically around while the passenger was vigorously pumping something below the seat, and some random kid passed out in the back seat.  The man from the Dakota came out of his truck and made his way towards our car, one hand holding his pants above his knees and the other waving around, flashing gang signs probably, in the air.  Luckily he couldn't run very fast because his pants were clearly hindering his mobility.

One quick side note.  Why would you as a "thug" "gangster" "whatever you want to call yourself" criminal activity type person where clothes that make you so immobile that you couldn't escape anything if your life depended on it.  I mean seriously if you are going to rob a 7/11 go dressed ready to run.  Why would you go rob a 7/11 in a baggy hoodie that is only weighing you down, and pants that are also super baggy and sagging down below your junk that you have to walk bow legged to keep them up?  If I were going to rob a 7/11 I'd be in athletic shorts and under armour or something.  I mean come on!  All you people who are going to do some sort of criminal activity that involves moving faster than a mean swagger strut, wear something that makes more sense.  There are no 7/11's floating up in the air that require you to parachute and skydive.  Don't wear overly baggy stuff, duh.

Anyway, sorry about that.  So our waddling guy reached the end of the car and he pounded on the trunk yelling for us to come out.  Like we were going to do that.  Greg put the pedal to the metal and ripped away leaving the guy gagging at the achieva's nasty exhaust.  I can only imagine that it didn't taste that good because being in the car smelled bad enough.  As we were getting back on the highway we could see the guy waddling back to his truck.  Now we were afraid that he called in his other waddling tanning bed truck friends and that they'd soon be after us.  Again, we slowly flew down the highway heading towards Manhattan, which was about 40 miles away.  Greg's older brother lived in Manhattan so we were hoping that if he were to chase us all the way there that we'd have a place to hide out.  He came up behind us only inches away from our bumper.  Trying to pass us, Greg wouldn't let him.  This went on for a couple of miles.  This dancing of cars nearly kissing bumpers.  Up until the Dakota wouldn't have any more of it and he peeled off the highway and we continued towards Manhattan.  After a little while we decided that we were safe and headed back towards Topeka.  We gave each other high fives, the kid in back came to, and we celebrated our victory.  We drove into Steak and Shake to reward ourselves with a milkshake, we were all still shaking from the adrenaline pumping through our blood.  An intense chase but we proved to be the victors.  At least we proved to be the crazier people.

Those Damn Monkeys



Hello everybody. Take a second, well 8 seconds and watch this video. This little ditty features my friend Dave. This video also features a horny monkey from Thailand. Enjoy.

This little incident happened when our heroic friend Dave decided to intervene in a monkey orgy.  The disgruntled male monkey had mounted a little lady monkey and decided it was business time.  Dave felt that the little lady didn't want anything to do with that so he drew his bamboo stick and charged the sex fest.  I don't think that Dave knew exactly what he was doing because when the monkey turned on him he clearly panics.  Turns and runs.  His body was moving faster than he legs and literally ran himself into the ground.  The bamboo stick didn't even make it breaking in have and rocketing up through the air.  Religious pamphlets bursting from his pocket as he somersaults in retreat.  Earlier in the day, while Dave was enjoying a fruit smoothie a monkey literally jumped from a wall, drop kicked him in the chest causing him to lose grip of the smoothie and the monkey took the drink and ran.  Damn Monkeys.



A Long Ride, Worst Break Up Ever...

In my life I have dated quite a few girls.  It was a hobby of mine,  I found it quite enjoyable.  Was I successful?  I don’t know.  Maybe.  One thing that I believe everyone hates is having to do the whole break up experience.  It is something that is usually disliked by both sides:  the breaker upper and the person who is being dumped.  There are many different ways to let them go.  Let’s just be friends.  It’s not working out.  Let’s take a break for a little while.  It’s all beating around the bush getting to a very simple, easy point.  But because of our natural good intentions we don’t want to offend or hurt the other person.  Even though regardless of how eloquent you give the good-bye the underlining intention is saying we’re done.  That’s it.  We are done.  I can be a blunt person as well as an eloquent person.  This particular story I was a very blunt person.  I still feel bad for the way that I let this girl go, and to save myself from from looking like a douchebag, I was angry but I later apologized and became friends again.  Ok, here we go.

I met this girl from a friend.  He invited this girl to come hang out so that I could meet her and she could meet me.  I didn’t know that he was setting us up, you know how friends are.  So we hung out, had fun, and later hung out some more.  We continue seeing each other until we had “the talk” and voted that we are now “boyfriend/girlfriend” offically, before facebook made relationships official, does that make me old?  I never understood why this was such a complicated procedure, becoming an item.  No one’s relationship just kinda-sorta happens.  It’s a process.  Anyway, getting off on another subject here.  This girl’s name was weird, but she was cool, out of respect I'll keep the name anonimous but that doesn't mean that I'm making this up it all really went down.  She was a nice country girl.  Her parents loved me, and I think that they were already planning our wedding right from the get-go.  I would go over to her house all the time and we’d do the whole falling in love thing.  It was fun, as it always is, falling in love.  I really liked her and she really liked me.  She also had a pet raccoon.  Just a weird side note.  It lived in her barn and we’d go out back in the barn and feed it fruit loops and sneak some kisses in-between all of that.  So things are going great we are young, dumb, in high school and in love.  After we dated for a couple of months was when it started going downhill.

As time grew on so did her “clinginess” to me.  She wanted more and more to be around me.  All the time, like seriously all the time.  I was a busy kid in high school.  Wrestling, band, work, church, friends, and family.  I tried finding time to do all of this as well as please her.  Which became harder and harder because the longer we dated the more she wanted to be with me.  Unfortunately many times I had to let her down telling her that I couldn’t hang out with her because of work or another extra-curricular activity.  A family event or that I just wanted to hang out with my friends.  Don’t get me wrong, I made time for her.  She saw me almost every day but everyday just wasn’t enough.  Sometimes she would start to cry when I told her that I couldn’t see her or if I had called her after having a bad day, she would cry and ask if we were breaking up.  I always got a little annoyed by this because I wasn’t going to break up with her and I couldn’t figure out where she was getting this idea.  I would talk to her about my bad day at work and then she would say in the middle of it “Are you breaking up with me?”  I would pull the phone away from my ear and look at it confused and mouth “What the hell?”

So this happened quite a few times.  She would cry, ask if we’re breaking up, and then I would comfort her and reassure her that we weren’t breaking up.  After a while I got pretty tired of this.  So one day I had promised my friend, that originally set us up and who knew our relationship's situation, that I would hang out with him.  He loved cars and street racing and looking cool cruising up and down Wanamaker road.  I never got that into it but did it because he liked it.  It didn’t help any that I had a nice car.  A 2000 Mustang convertible it was black and way cool.  So I told her that he and I were going to go cruising and that I had promised him that he and I would hang out.  She cried…I comforted her…again.  Reassured her that I still loved her, we were still together, etc.

So he and I are cruising around, every now and then drag racing a car at a stop light.  After a while, I looked and noticed in my rear view mirror her car.  Weird…oh well maybe she’s just out with her friends.  She did have a friend in the passenger seat.  Oh well, I shrugged it off and didn’t think much of it.  We continued driving around and she continued following us.  So I drove a little faster thinking that I would lose her so it wouldn't bother me so much that she was right behind us kissing my bumper.  Well she must’ve taken driving lessons from NASCAR because she kept the same distance behind me everywhere I went.  My friend started noticing that I kept checking behind us and driving faster.  As he started to look back I quickly told him not to look behind us.  He asked why and I told him that my little lady friend had been following us that night and I was trying to lose her.  He just sat back in his seat knowing that this wasn’t going to turn out good.  I pulled into Barnes and Noble thinking that there was no way that she would go as far as to follow us into Barnes and Noble as well.  So we got out and went into the store to the magazines and looked at car magazines.  It wasn't even five minutes before she came up, jumped on me from behind holding my arm.  I took a deep breath and faced her.  “Hey!” She sounded so happy it made me sick.  “What are you doing here?” she had the nerve to ask.  “I am hanging out with [insert friends name]…what are you doing here?” she could tell that I wasn’t too happy.  It must have been awkward for the friends that we both had brought along.  “It’s fine…lets just look around.”  So we walked throughout Barnes and Noble.

I didn’t make a peep.  She was glued to my side clenching my arm.  Finally after a while of walking around pretending to look at books trying to distract from the awkwardness, her friend saved the day and said that she should probably get home.  “Good idea” I replied.  “I’ll take you, [friend] just wait here I’ll be back.”  He understood.  She knew what was coming.  So we got in my car and headed out to her friend’s house.  Her friend just happened to live way out in the boonies, how convenient for this situation, so we had a long 20 minute ride to the house.  The car was silent.  Dead silence would have been noisy in this situation.  This was an awkward silence of knowing what was coming.  When we got to her friends house she quickly got out of the car.  She knew what was coming too.  I said goodbye and that it was nice meeting her.  Then we headed back towards town another 20 brutal minutes.  Again silence.  I looked forward not making a sound.  I couldn’t even think in this situation.  My knuckles were white clinching the steering wheel in frustration.  Without looking at her I could hear her starting to cry.  Here comes the waterworks.

We continued driving, I was silent, and she was weeping.  I knew what she was going to say and had my answer ready to fire away.  “Are we breaking up?” my golden ticket to the chocolate factory!  The exact question that I knew was coming, it was as if our whole relationship was a training for me to answer this one question.  Without hesitation I answered not looking her direction.  “Yeah, we’re done.”  She was pretty shocked by this response so many times I comforted and reassured her that we were not breaking up.  Finally, I flipped and gave the answer that was a long time coming.  She stopped crying for a moment as to figure out exactly what I said.  Then the dam broke, the waterworks continued.  I kept my eyes forward watching the little white lines whiz by in the middle of the road.  A little bit later she needed a reconfirmation that we had broken up.  “So… (sniff)…are we really breaking up (sniff sniff)?”  This time I looked over at her.  “We broke up a couple of miles down the road.”  I looked back forward and continued watching the passing lines.  I could hear her really start crying now.  After a little bit longer I got frustrated with the whole situation and said something that I probably shouldn’t have said.  “Why are you crying?  We broke up way back there, it’s over, done.”  I was angry and frustrated.  I wasn’t thinking.  She did stop crying for a second though.  I don’t think she could believe that I actually just said that.  But I did.  She cried some more and I drove quicker just to get this situation over with.

After what seemed like an eternity we arrived to Barnes and Noble.  I pulled up to her car and sat waiting with my car still running.  She brought herself together and asked, “So now what do we do?”  I thought that this was a stupid question.  So I put it simply for her so that she’d understand what was going on between us.  “Well, now you’re going to get out of my car.”  Blunt I know.  Again she was shocked.  She started opening her door slowly and was still crying.  She stood outside my car and just looked at me sobbing.  “Are we?” before she could finish I answered her question.  “We broke up way back there down the highway, we’re done, and you can shut my door now.”  Again I was very blunt.  Kind of rude too.  Ok I was really rude.  She shut my door and I left her standing there watching my black car disappear in the dark.  I drove around for a little while longer on Wanamaker then realized that I forgot my friend at Barnes and Noble.  He had been waiting there for a little over an hour.  Oops.  So I quickly drove back and passed her sitting in her car crying.  I parked then ran inside.  He and I came out and he was obviously curious as to what happened.  We got in the car and drove by her again.  He looked over pointing out her car.  “Hey there’s…oh…OH…ok.”  Nothing needed to be said he understood what happened.  I was quiet and upset and she had her head in her hands crying in her car in the Barnes and Noble parking lot. 

After a few weeks he came back and told me that her parents got mad at her for me breaking up with her.  This really surprised me because of how we had broken up.  I saw her parents at my work and they came up and talked to me.  Saying that I’m always welcome in their house and that their daughter missed me.  That surprised me too.  How could she miss me after what I did to her?  I later apologized and we became friends again.  About 10-11 months after we broke up she had a beautiful baby girl...not mine don't worry, geez.

Zion Bike Ride

The ride to Zion National Park was pretty nice.  Not gonna lie it was freakin cold.  Definitely a trip I plan on going on again when its a little warmer.  It was incredible out there, just be sure to dress warm if going to Zion's in January on a motorcycle.  We rode through up to the narrows.  On the way to there as we passed the throne of the patriarchs there was a huge flock of about 10 wild turkeys that we passed scurrying along the side of the road.  One of the things that I love about Zion's is the sheer cliffs that seem to stretch so high that you can't help but feel so tiny in a giants world.  They jut from the ground thousands and thousands of feet towards the sky towering over anyone passing on the roads.  Then there are the freestanding rocks that seem to be balancing on nothing and could teeter to one side and come crashing down.

 

Another attraction that always seems to be present when I go to Zion's is the great number of asian tourists.  Everytime that I've gone I always see camera happy asians running around.  Have you noticed that?  The moment they step out of the bus is a photo snapping frenzy.  I guess that they are thinking if I take as many pictures randomly as possible one is going to be a great one.  Also just another side note, have you noticed that when asians talk they always sound angry?  Just normal conversation sounds like a heated debate.

On the way back we saw a huge group of deer.  They were down in the ravine by the river grazing on what grass they could find.  There must have been 20-30 deer.  Any hunters dream come true I'm sure.
Before it was getting too dark, we stopped at Oscar's for a bite to eat.  They proved their motto correct.  Their motto stated:  "Hungry? Don't Blame Oscars."  I got the hawaiian burger and I'll tell you what that thing was a monster of a burger.  I had to basically dislocated my jaw just to take a bite.  Not complaining.  Our server was a french man with a heavy accent.  He seemed to have worked there for a while being so accustomed to the restaurant and how to work each table differently according to the individual personalities at each table.  The food was good though, if I had the opportunity to go again I would.

 

As for the trip to Zion National Park, it's a trip that I'd recommend to anyone.  The park is majestic, yes majestic.  I'll be sure to post some more about the hikes.  Like angels landing, a super tiring hike but well worth it.

What's Your Status?

Have you ever heard the question:  what’s your status?  Before meeting a man named Noah I never had.  Apparently it is a question asking about your dating status.  I don’t think that my generation ever used that one.  To better understand Noah we worked together overnight at Kohl’s.  He was my supervisor.  He wasn’t white.  Honestly I’m not sure what ethnicity he belonged to.  Don’t get me wrong he was a cool guy, very nice, and very polite.  He was the ideal 1980’s cool dude living in the year 2005.  Just a few years off.  He wore tight jeans and a wife beater tank top all the time.  Had to show off the guns I guess.  He was a very open trusting person.  Especially with me.  I heard his dating life story all the time.  He basically had none.  But it was always fun to listen to his quirky stories.  Stories like the one girl that he went out with that made him sing Michael Jackson songs while she played with a Michael Jackson doll.  Yeah weird kinky stuff like that.  I was fresh out of high school.  Innocence destroyed by hearing stories of Michael Jackson dolls. 

So that is the type of person Noah is.  He had a huge crush on the daytime managers.  Particularly two of them.  Kendra and Julianne.  One night I was putting away shoes in the shoe department…obviously.  Anyway, Julianne was the closing manager and as she was passing by she stopped and said hi and asked how I was doing and how my day went.  It was a little weird and creepy for me because she was always known as a very strict mean manager who was ruthless and ruled with an iron fist.  So her showing nice-ness to me scared me.  I wasn’t sure if I was doing something wrong and she was just warming me up to shoot me down.  So I said that I was good and my day was good.  She just said that was nice and went on.  Phew.  Dodged a bullet that I didn’t know I needed to dodge.  After she walked on, Noah came creeping up.  “Hey, Lawrence, come here.”  So I snuck over to Noah and asked what’s up.  He then asked me, “Do you know Julianne’s status?”  I looked at him confused.  “What? Her status?  What do you mean her status?”  “You know her status.  Is she married, single, dating, boyfriend, that stuff.”  I laughed.  “I have no idea Noah, I don’t think that she’s married,” then a lightbulb popped on in my head.  “Do you want me to find out for you?”  This got Noah excited.  “Hey, yeah, could you do that for me?”  “Sure thing Noah, no problem.”  We went back to work and I ran over to Randy and told him about Noah’s what’s your status question.  We laughed and it was an inside joke for us overnighters. 

A few days later Randy and I worked some overtime and Julianne was the opening manager that day.  That means that she was the one to check us out of the store.  I remembered my promise to Noah to find out her “status”, so I told Randy to brace himself for what I was about to do.  Randy looked at me funny then caught on to what I was getting at.  So we came up to check out of the store, just Randy and I.  Julianne was waiting at the front register with her clipboard and pen ready to go.  I went up first.  She said hi and was hunched over checking off everything clearing that I didn’t steal any new clothes.  As she was writing stuff I popped the question.  I wasn’t very confident the first time that I asked and it was more of a weak squeak.  “Julianne…what’s your status?”  The pen stopped abruptly.  She was still looking down and Randy’s eyes got big.  I braced myself for what was to come.  Here I was a 19 year old kid, and she was my 28 year old boss, she held the power to end my career stocking product at night gig.  She looked up at me and her face was blushed, she was either flattered or infuriated, I was too young and dumb to be able to decifer a womans reaction.  “What?” She looked at me quizzically.  I cleared my throat and collected myself.  “What’s your status?”  She just kept looking at me.  I felt so retarded, but the question was already out there my line was in the water and I was fighting for a bite.  So I had no choice but to go all the way.

Randy was staying back and trying to keep from laughing.  She put her hands on her hips and looked at me raising a brow.  “What do you mean my status?” She might as well snapped her fingers back and forth with that sassy way that girls get ready to tear someone apart.  “You know…your status.”  She leaned forward.  “My work status?”  I knew that no matter what I said I was screwed.  So I went in for the kill.  I collected myself again and put on that Wortham charm.  I had my normal savior-faire.  “It’s ok Julianne, we can talk about your status over dinner sometime, if our schedules work out.”  She had nothing to say back to that one.  Her jaw hit the ground.  I had the upper hand now!  Element of suprise!  I had to quickly gathered my things, gave her a nice sincere smile, and started for the door.  I could hear Randy’s jaw hit the ground and him start laughing.  I was not even halfway to the door when I could hear Julianne’s high heels click quickly up behind me on the tile floor.  There was no way that I was going to make it to the door in time.  I was screwed.

“Uh, Lawrence…what do you mean my status?”  She caught up and was walking beside me.  Randy was following behind eavesdropping to see what would happen.  “Julianne it’s ok, I understand…we can discuss it more later over dinner, I’m kind of tired from working so hard.”  We stepped out the first set of doors.  “Wait.  What?  What do you mean?”  She was so confused and taken aback that she didn’t know what to think.  I continued to keep walking because I knew that I had to get out of that situation before she collected herself and killed me.  I could feel the her wrath coming.  That insane crazy boss lady wrath that everyone always talked about.  Finally I reached my car.  “I work the rest of the week, so we can talk about it then?”  She was still freaking with confusion.  “We’ll talk about this later.”  She turned around and walked back into the store scratching her head.  Randy was busting up laughing.  “You are dead man.”

That night I came back into work and Kendra was the manager closing.  When she was checking us in she pulled me aside and asked what I did to freak Julianne out so much.  I explained the situation to Kendra and she laughed about it.  She said that day Julianne was a wreck.  She was so confused about what I did.  That night I told Noah about what happened.  He was relieved that he didn’t ask, but still wanted to know what her status was.  We worked like normal throughout the night.  In the morning guess who was the opening manager.  Julianne.  I saw her come in from across the store and ducked behind a clothing fixture.  I crawled over to where Randy was in another department.  “Randy…Julianne is opening!  I’m screwed.”  Randy just laughed.  Well I successfully avoided Julianne until it was time to go.  She had to check me out of the store.  I was the last one out.  As I walked up to the register she was waiting.  “Ok…Lawrence…we need to talk.”  I smiled.  “Sure.  About what?  Did I forget to do something before leaving?”  Play dumb.  The only thing that I could come up with…idiot.  “Lawrence, we can’t date.  I have to make that clear.  It’s not appropriate for managers to be going out to dinner with associates.”  I looked at her a little confused but at the same time a look like, oh, ok I know what you’re saying.  “Yeah, that’s too bad then.  Noah was really hoping to take you out.”  I caught her off guard again!  “Wait.  What?”  I had her again!  “Yeah, Noah was wanting to take you out to dinner.”  She was starting to lose it again.  “What?”  I put on my charm again.  “Look Julianne, it wouldn’t ever work out between us.  I’m only 19 and you’re way out of my league…besides you’re my manager.  How weird would that be?  I told Noah that I would ask you what your status is.”  What was I doing?  I figured that my job had to of been on thin ice now.  She just looked at me…confused.  She had nothing to say or she was so much in shock that she couldn’t say anything.  She finally said, “Well you know that we…that managers and associates…”  I waved my hand.  “I understand.”  I started heading out.  “So, Julianne…what should I tell Noah?”  “Tell him what I told you.”  I thought for a second.  “Well…are you married?”  She sighed, laughed, and said that she wasn’t married.  Mission accomplished.  What is your status?  Not married.  There you go Noah.  Not married.  Whip out the Michael Jackson doll and do your thing.  I’m not hitting on managers for others again.