A Long Ride, Worst Break Up Ever...

In my life I have dated quite a few girls.  It was a hobby of mine,  I found it quite enjoyable.  Was I successful?  I don’t know.  Maybe.  One thing that I believe everyone hates is having to do the whole break up experience.  It is something that is usually disliked by both sides:  the breaker upper and the person who is being dumped.  There are many different ways to let them go.  Let’s just be friends.  It’s not working out.  Let’s take a break for a little while.  It’s all beating around the bush getting to a very simple, easy point.  But because of our natural good intentions we don’t want to offend or hurt the other person.  Even though regardless of how eloquent you give the good-bye the underlining intention is saying we’re done.  That’s it.  We are done.  I can be a blunt person as well as an eloquent person.  This particular story I was a very blunt person.  I still feel bad for the way that I let this girl go, and to save myself from from looking like a douchebag, I was angry but I later apologized and became friends again.  Ok, here we go.

I met this girl from a friend.  He invited this girl to come hang out so that I could meet her and she could meet me.  I didn’t know that he was setting us up, you know how friends are.  So we hung out, had fun, and later hung out some more.  We continue seeing each other until we had “the talk” and voted that we are now “boyfriend/girlfriend” offically, before facebook made relationships official, does that make me old?  I never understood why this was such a complicated procedure, becoming an item.  No one’s relationship just kinda-sorta happens.  It’s a process.  Anyway, getting off on another subject here.  This girl’s name was weird, but she was cool, out of respect I'll keep the name anonimous but that doesn't mean that I'm making this up it all really went down.  She was a nice country girl.  Her parents loved me, and I think that they were already planning our wedding right from the get-go.  I would go over to her house all the time and we’d do the whole falling in love thing.  It was fun, as it always is, falling in love.  I really liked her and she really liked me.  She also had a pet raccoon.  Just a weird side note.  It lived in her barn and we’d go out back in the barn and feed it fruit loops and sneak some kisses in-between all of that.  So things are going great we are young, dumb, in high school and in love.  After we dated for a couple of months was when it started going downhill.

As time grew on so did her “clinginess” to me.  She wanted more and more to be around me.  All the time, like seriously all the time.  I was a busy kid in high school.  Wrestling, band, work, church, friends, and family.  I tried finding time to do all of this as well as please her.  Which became harder and harder because the longer we dated the more she wanted to be with me.  Unfortunately many times I had to let her down telling her that I couldn’t hang out with her because of work or another extra-curricular activity.  A family event or that I just wanted to hang out with my friends.  Don’t get me wrong, I made time for her.  She saw me almost every day but everyday just wasn’t enough.  Sometimes she would start to cry when I told her that I couldn’t see her or if I had called her after having a bad day, she would cry and ask if we were breaking up.  I always got a little annoyed by this because I wasn’t going to break up with her and I couldn’t figure out where she was getting this idea.  I would talk to her about my bad day at work and then she would say in the middle of it “Are you breaking up with me?”  I would pull the phone away from my ear and look at it confused and mouth “What the hell?”

So this happened quite a few times.  She would cry, ask if we’re breaking up, and then I would comfort her and reassure her that we weren’t breaking up.  After a while I got pretty tired of this.  So one day I had promised my friend, that originally set us up and who knew our relationship's situation, that I would hang out with him.  He loved cars and street racing and looking cool cruising up and down Wanamaker road.  I never got that into it but did it because he liked it.  It didn’t help any that I had a nice car.  A 2000 Mustang convertible it was black and way cool.  So I told her that he and I were going to go cruising and that I had promised him that he and I would hang out.  She cried…I comforted her…again.  Reassured her that I still loved her, we were still together, etc.

So he and I are cruising around, every now and then drag racing a car at a stop light.  After a while, I looked and noticed in my rear view mirror her car.  Weird…oh well maybe she’s just out with her friends.  She did have a friend in the passenger seat.  Oh well, I shrugged it off and didn’t think much of it.  We continued driving around and she continued following us.  So I drove a little faster thinking that I would lose her so it wouldn't bother me so much that she was right behind us kissing my bumper.  Well she must’ve taken driving lessons from NASCAR because she kept the same distance behind me everywhere I went.  My friend started noticing that I kept checking behind us and driving faster.  As he started to look back I quickly told him not to look behind us.  He asked why and I told him that my little lady friend had been following us that night and I was trying to lose her.  He just sat back in his seat knowing that this wasn’t going to turn out good.  I pulled into Barnes and Noble thinking that there was no way that she would go as far as to follow us into Barnes and Noble as well.  So we got out and went into the store to the magazines and looked at car magazines.  It wasn't even five minutes before she came up, jumped on me from behind holding my arm.  I took a deep breath and faced her.  “Hey!” She sounded so happy it made me sick.  “What are you doing here?” she had the nerve to ask.  “I am hanging out with [insert friends name]…what are you doing here?” she could tell that I wasn’t too happy.  It must have been awkward for the friends that we both had brought along.  “It’s fine…lets just look around.”  So we walked throughout Barnes and Noble.

I didn’t make a peep.  She was glued to my side clenching my arm.  Finally after a while of walking around pretending to look at books trying to distract from the awkwardness, her friend saved the day and said that she should probably get home.  “Good idea” I replied.  “I’ll take you, [friend] just wait here I’ll be back.”  He understood.  She knew what was coming.  So we got in my car and headed out to her friend’s house.  Her friend just happened to live way out in the boonies, how convenient for this situation, so we had a long 20 minute ride to the house.  The car was silent.  Dead silence would have been noisy in this situation.  This was an awkward silence of knowing what was coming.  When we got to her friends house she quickly got out of the car.  She knew what was coming too.  I said goodbye and that it was nice meeting her.  Then we headed back towards town another 20 brutal minutes.  Again silence.  I looked forward not making a sound.  I couldn’t even think in this situation.  My knuckles were white clinching the steering wheel in frustration.  Without looking at her I could hear her starting to cry.  Here comes the waterworks.

We continued driving, I was silent, and she was weeping.  I knew what she was going to say and had my answer ready to fire away.  “Are we breaking up?” my golden ticket to the chocolate factory!  The exact question that I knew was coming, it was as if our whole relationship was a training for me to answer this one question.  Without hesitation I answered not looking her direction.  “Yeah, we’re done.”  She was pretty shocked by this response so many times I comforted and reassured her that we were not breaking up.  Finally, I flipped and gave the answer that was a long time coming.  She stopped crying for a moment as to figure out exactly what I said.  Then the dam broke, the waterworks continued.  I kept my eyes forward watching the little white lines whiz by in the middle of the road.  A little bit later she needed a reconfirmation that we had broken up.  “So… (sniff)…are we really breaking up (sniff sniff)?”  This time I looked over at her.  “We broke up a couple of miles down the road.”  I looked back forward and continued watching the passing lines.  I could hear her really start crying now.  After a little bit longer I got frustrated with the whole situation and said something that I probably shouldn’t have said.  “Why are you crying?  We broke up way back there, it’s over, done.”  I was angry and frustrated.  I wasn’t thinking.  She did stop crying for a second though.  I don’t think she could believe that I actually just said that.  But I did.  She cried some more and I drove quicker just to get this situation over with.

After what seemed like an eternity we arrived to Barnes and Noble.  I pulled up to her car and sat waiting with my car still running.  She brought herself together and asked, “So now what do we do?”  I thought that this was a stupid question.  So I put it simply for her so that she’d understand what was going on between us.  “Well, now you’re going to get out of my car.”  Blunt I know.  Again she was shocked.  She started opening her door slowly and was still crying.  She stood outside my car and just looked at me sobbing.  “Are we?” before she could finish I answered her question.  “We broke up way back there down the highway, we’re done, and you can shut my door now.”  Again I was very blunt.  Kind of rude too.  Ok I was really rude.  She shut my door and I left her standing there watching my black car disappear in the dark.  I drove around for a little while longer on Wanamaker then realized that I forgot my friend at Barnes and Noble.  He had been waiting there for a little over an hour.  Oops.  So I quickly drove back and passed her sitting in her car crying.  I parked then ran inside.  He and I came out and he was obviously curious as to what happened.  We got in the car and drove by her again.  He looked over pointing out her car.  “Hey there’s…oh…OH…ok.”  Nothing needed to be said he understood what happened.  I was quiet and upset and she had her head in her hands crying in her car in the Barnes and Noble parking lot. 

After a few weeks he came back and told me that her parents got mad at her for me breaking up with her.  This really surprised me because of how we had broken up.  I saw her parents at my work and they came up and talked to me.  Saying that I’m always welcome in their house and that their daughter missed me.  That surprised me too.  How could she miss me after what I did to her?  I later apologized and we became friends again.  About 10-11 months after we broke up she had a beautiful baby girl...not mine don't worry, geez.

Zion Bike Ride

The ride to Zion National Park was pretty nice.  Not gonna lie it was freakin cold.  Definitely a trip I plan on going on again when its a little warmer.  It was incredible out there, just be sure to dress warm if going to Zion's in January on a motorcycle.  We rode through up to the narrows.  On the way to there as we passed the throne of the patriarchs there was a huge flock of about 10 wild turkeys that we passed scurrying along the side of the road.  One of the things that I love about Zion's is the sheer cliffs that seem to stretch so high that you can't help but feel so tiny in a giants world.  They jut from the ground thousands and thousands of feet towards the sky towering over anyone passing on the roads.  Then there are the freestanding rocks that seem to be balancing on nothing and could teeter to one side and come crashing down.

 

Another attraction that always seems to be present when I go to Zion's is the great number of asian tourists.  Everytime that I've gone I always see camera happy asians running around.  Have you noticed that?  The moment they step out of the bus is a photo snapping frenzy.  I guess that they are thinking if I take as many pictures randomly as possible one is going to be a great one.  Also just another side note, have you noticed that when asians talk they always sound angry?  Just normal conversation sounds like a heated debate.

On the way back we saw a huge group of deer.  They were down in the ravine by the river grazing on what grass they could find.  There must have been 20-30 deer.  Any hunters dream come true I'm sure.
Before it was getting too dark, we stopped at Oscar's for a bite to eat.  They proved their motto correct.  Their motto stated:  "Hungry? Don't Blame Oscars."  I got the hawaiian burger and I'll tell you what that thing was a monster of a burger.  I had to basically dislocated my jaw just to take a bite.  Not complaining.  Our server was a french man with a heavy accent.  He seemed to have worked there for a while being so accustomed to the restaurant and how to work each table differently according to the individual personalities at each table.  The food was good though, if I had the opportunity to go again I would.

 

As for the trip to Zion National Park, it's a trip that I'd recommend to anyone.  The park is majestic, yes majestic.  I'll be sure to post some more about the hikes.  Like angels landing, a super tiring hike but well worth it.

What's Your Status?

Have you ever heard the question:  what’s your status?  Before meeting a man named Noah I never had.  Apparently it is a question asking about your dating status.  I don’t think that my generation ever used that one.  To better understand Noah we worked together overnight at Kohl’s.  He was my supervisor.  He wasn’t white.  Honestly I’m not sure what ethnicity he belonged to.  Don’t get me wrong he was a cool guy, very nice, and very polite.  He was the ideal 1980’s cool dude living in the year 2005.  Just a few years off.  He wore tight jeans and a wife beater tank top all the time.  Had to show off the guns I guess.  He was a very open trusting person.  Especially with me.  I heard his dating life story all the time.  He basically had none.  But it was always fun to listen to his quirky stories.  Stories like the one girl that he went out with that made him sing Michael Jackson songs while she played with a Michael Jackson doll.  Yeah weird kinky stuff like that.  I was fresh out of high school.  Innocence destroyed by hearing stories of Michael Jackson dolls. 

So that is the type of person Noah is.  He had a huge crush on the daytime managers.  Particularly two of them.  Kendra and Julianne.  One night I was putting away shoes in the shoe department…obviously.  Anyway, Julianne was the closing manager and as she was passing by she stopped and said hi and asked how I was doing and how my day went.  It was a little weird and creepy for me because she was always known as a very strict mean manager who was ruthless and ruled with an iron fist.  So her showing nice-ness to me scared me.  I wasn’t sure if I was doing something wrong and she was just warming me up to shoot me down.  So I said that I was good and my day was good.  She just said that was nice and went on.  Phew.  Dodged a bullet that I didn’t know I needed to dodge.  After she walked on, Noah came creeping up.  “Hey, Lawrence, come here.”  So I snuck over to Noah and asked what’s up.  He then asked me, “Do you know Julianne’s status?”  I looked at him confused.  “What? Her status?  What do you mean her status?”  “You know her status.  Is she married, single, dating, boyfriend, that stuff.”  I laughed.  “I have no idea Noah, I don’t think that she’s married,” then a lightbulb popped on in my head.  “Do you want me to find out for you?”  This got Noah excited.  “Hey, yeah, could you do that for me?”  “Sure thing Noah, no problem.”  We went back to work and I ran over to Randy and told him about Noah’s what’s your status question.  We laughed and it was an inside joke for us overnighters. 

A few days later Randy and I worked some overtime and Julianne was the opening manager that day.  That means that she was the one to check us out of the store.  I remembered my promise to Noah to find out her “status”, so I told Randy to brace himself for what I was about to do.  Randy looked at me funny then caught on to what I was getting at.  So we came up to check out of the store, just Randy and I.  Julianne was waiting at the front register with her clipboard and pen ready to go.  I went up first.  She said hi and was hunched over checking off everything clearing that I didn’t steal any new clothes.  As she was writing stuff I popped the question.  I wasn’t very confident the first time that I asked and it was more of a weak squeak.  “Julianne…what’s your status?”  The pen stopped abruptly.  She was still looking down and Randy’s eyes got big.  I braced myself for what was to come.  Here I was a 19 year old kid, and she was my 28 year old boss, she held the power to end my career stocking product at night gig.  She looked up at me and her face was blushed, she was either flattered or infuriated, I was too young and dumb to be able to decifer a womans reaction.  “What?” She looked at me quizzically.  I cleared my throat and collected myself.  “What’s your status?”  She just kept looking at me.  I felt so retarded, but the question was already out there my line was in the water and I was fighting for a bite.  So I had no choice but to go all the way.

Randy was staying back and trying to keep from laughing.  She put her hands on her hips and looked at me raising a brow.  “What do you mean my status?” She might as well snapped her fingers back and forth with that sassy way that girls get ready to tear someone apart.  “You know…your status.”  She leaned forward.  “My work status?”  I knew that no matter what I said I was screwed.  So I went in for the kill.  I collected myself again and put on that Wortham charm.  I had my normal savior-faire.  “It’s ok Julianne, we can talk about your status over dinner sometime, if our schedules work out.”  She had nothing to say back to that one.  Her jaw hit the ground.  I had the upper hand now!  Element of suprise!  I had to quickly gathered my things, gave her a nice sincere smile, and started for the door.  I could hear Randy’s jaw hit the ground and him start laughing.  I was not even halfway to the door when I could hear Julianne’s high heels click quickly up behind me on the tile floor.  There was no way that I was going to make it to the door in time.  I was screwed.

“Uh, Lawrence…what do you mean my status?”  She caught up and was walking beside me.  Randy was following behind eavesdropping to see what would happen.  “Julianne it’s ok, I understand…we can discuss it more later over dinner, I’m kind of tired from working so hard.”  We stepped out the first set of doors.  “Wait.  What?  What do you mean?”  She was so confused and taken aback that she didn’t know what to think.  I continued to keep walking because I knew that I had to get out of that situation before she collected herself and killed me.  I could feel the her wrath coming.  That insane crazy boss lady wrath that everyone always talked about.  Finally I reached my car.  “I work the rest of the week, so we can talk about it then?”  She was still freaking with confusion.  “We’ll talk about this later.”  She turned around and walked back into the store scratching her head.  Randy was busting up laughing.  “You are dead man.”

That night I came back into work and Kendra was the manager closing.  When she was checking us in she pulled me aside and asked what I did to freak Julianne out so much.  I explained the situation to Kendra and she laughed about it.  She said that day Julianne was a wreck.  She was so confused about what I did.  That night I told Noah about what happened.  He was relieved that he didn’t ask, but still wanted to know what her status was.  We worked like normal throughout the night.  In the morning guess who was the opening manager.  Julianne.  I saw her come in from across the store and ducked behind a clothing fixture.  I crawled over to where Randy was in another department.  “Randy…Julianne is opening!  I’m screwed.”  Randy just laughed.  Well I successfully avoided Julianne until it was time to go.  She had to check me out of the store.  I was the last one out.  As I walked up to the register she was waiting.  “Ok…Lawrence…we need to talk.”  I smiled.  “Sure.  About what?  Did I forget to do something before leaving?”  Play dumb.  The only thing that I could come up with…idiot.  “Lawrence, we can’t date.  I have to make that clear.  It’s not appropriate for managers to be going out to dinner with associates.”  I looked at her a little confused but at the same time a look like, oh, ok I know what you’re saying.  “Yeah, that’s too bad then.  Noah was really hoping to take you out.”  I caught her off guard again!  “Wait.  What?”  I had her again!  “Yeah, Noah was wanting to take you out to dinner.”  She was starting to lose it again.  “What?”  I put on my charm again.  “Look Julianne, it wouldn’t ever work out between us.  I’m only 19 and you’re way out of my league…besides you’re my manager.  How weird would that be?  I told Noah that I would ask you what your status is.”  What was I doing?  I figured that my job had to of been on thin ice now.  She just looked at me…confused.  She had nothing to say or she was so much in shock that she couldn’t say anything.  She finally said, “Well you know that we…that managers and associates…”  I waved my hand.  “I understand.”  I started heading out.  “So, Julianne…what should I tell Noah?”  “Tell him what I told you.”  I thought for a second.  “Well…are you married?”  She sighed, laughed, and said that she wasn’t married.  Mission accomplished.  What is your status?  Not married.  There you go Noah.  Not married.  Whip out the Michael Jackson doll and do your thing.  I’m not hitting on managers for others again.