Personal Concentration Camps

First off, I know that the title of this post may seem borderline inappropriate.  I have a story to share that I have learned from and there are so many great lessons to be taken from.  I want to fill you guys in on how I'm doing really quick since I have had my first treatment of chemotherapy.  I wouldn't wish it on anybody it's no fun.  It's not as bad as I thought it would be but still no fun.  If I had to compare it to something that I've experienced in life before the best example I have is wrestling.  The couple days after chemotherapy feel like I sucked a bunch of weight to make a certain weight class and just wrestled in a difficult tournament.  I was wasted physically.  Atleast, Friday I was spent on energy.  I spent the whole day sleeping and when I wasn't sleeping I was either going to the bathroom to pee or forcing myself to eat something.  I wasn't miserable like I'm sure it sounds.  I was just tired.  The side effects from chemo start kicking in little by little.  My head is itchy every now and then.  Like the inside of it.  The worst part about chemo is how much it throws off your taste buds.  I love food and I love to eat.  Now food tastes weird and I have to try and find foods that I can tolerate and that taste good.  I had a bowl of applesauce and about threw it across the room.  It tasted like we took really old pasta and blended it up.  I'm finding foods that still taste normalish though and not metalish, some foods taste metally.  Man chemo really drains your energy though.  Its a good excuse to be lazy though. Winky face.  Nina has been awesome through all this too.  She is so on top of everything it's great.  She is really bringing the pressure for me though.  She takes such good care of me now the pressure is on when she is pregnant and then I have to take care of her.  Maybe she's just being diabolical and planning ahead knowing that the more effort she puts into taking care of me I'll have to return the favor...girls are so sneaky.

I tried going into work the other day and I lasted about 40 minutes before I was completely zombified and drained of energy.  Just goes back to figuring out how to pace myself.

Ok so here is the story.  I think that it's an awesome and inspiring story and very applicable to all of us in our different circumstances, severe or not.  It is from a book Man's Search for Meaning by Dr. Viktor Frankl.  He was an Austrian neurologist, psychiatrist, and WWII concentration camp survivor.  Here is a part of the book that I liked:

"The experiences of camp life show that man does have a choice of action.  There were enough examples, often of a heroic nature, which proved that apathy could be overcome, irritability suppressed.  Man can preserve a vestige of spiritual freedom, of independence of mind, even in such terrible conditions of psychic and physical stress.
We who lived in concentration camps can remember the men who walked through the huts comforting others, giving away their last piece of bread.  They may have been few in number, but they offer sufficient proof that everything can be taken from a man but one thing:  the last of the human freedoms - to choose one's attitude in any given set of circumstances, to choose one's own way.
Even though conditions such as lack of sleep, insufficient food and various mental stresses may suggest that the inmates were bound to react in certain ways, in the final analysis it becomes clear that the sort of person the prisoner became was the result of an inner decision, and not the result of camp influences alone.  Fundamentally, therefore, any man can, even under such circumstances, decide what shall become of him - mentally and spiritually.  He may retain his human dignity even in a concentration camp....I became acquainted with those martyrs whose behavior in camp, whose suffering and death, bore witness to the fact that the last inner freedom cannot be lost....
The way in which a man accepts his fate and all the suffering it entails, the way in which he takes up his cross, gives him ample opportunity - even in the most difficult circumstances - to add a deeper meaning to life."

Wow.  That is powerful.  Sometimes we tend to forget the innate power that we posses given by a loving God.  We can choose.  We do not choose the consequences for actions but we can decide what action to take and what attitude to have about it.  I definitely did not choose to have cancer, but I definitely have decided to make it a great experience and to learn and grow from it.  I am personally being taught through experience something about life and I'm grateful for that opportunity.  "He may retain his human dignity even in a concentration camp."  We all go through trials and tests in life that is inevitable, but we can choose what will become of ourselves.  I hope that we all take time in life to remind ourselves that we are worth it.  We are worth being happy and we are worth enjoying little things in life.

Elder Robert D. Hales, an Apostle of Jesus Christ, said this that I liked also:

"Tests and trials are given to all of us. These mortal challenges allow us and our Heavenly Father to see whether we will exercise our agency to follow His Son. Yes, 'weeping may endure for a night, but joy cometh in the morning.' Then, in the dawn of our increased faith and understanding, we arise to choose to wait upon the Lord, saying, 'Thy will be done.' Let us not give up on the Lord. His blessings are eternal."

At times life seems dark and gloom and doom etc. But morning will come. Light will disperse the darkness. I've seen this time and time again. Especially recently. Times are tuff but it's ok. It is ok. Make the decision today and learn to trust. "Doubt not, fear not."

Some good advice in the Book of Joshua in the Bible: Choose ye this day whom ye will serve.
Again there is that gift we are given to choose. Choose ye this day. How will I live my life? How will I handle this next challenge?

I can tell you my choice. I choose life. I choose to be happy. I choose to enjoy every day. Chemo or no chemo. Good day or bad day. More wise advice from an apostle of the Lord: "Come what may, and love it."